Should an alien land in front of the newsstand this week they would have no doubt about who the most important person in the UK is…it has to be Cheryl Cole.

She’s having dates with an A-List man according to Look, She can’t bear it when Ashley touches her accoprding to heat, She’s been so strong according to OK. She’s moving to LA according to Now.

And Jordan tells us, via New!, she’s not too thin she’s never looked better.

Oh, Ulrika tells Hello her third marriage is really going to last. And Kate Moss speaks to Grazia (if that’s the coverline, you can sort of guess she hasn’t actually said anything interesting).

It truly is a wonderful world we live in.

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