SimonWaldman.net

So – this week’s newsstand features Jordan heavily. In fact, in what might prove to be a new game – there’s a complete line of Jordan covers on the second row. She’s out and about, getting drunk, losing weight, having bust ups with Pete, having a meltdown etc etc.

Meanwhile, my favourite car crash, Kerry Katona is also back on the front page of OK (her rightful home) having a break down and saying: “I’m the most hated person in Britain” (honestly, the vanity of some people!!!), while Heat reveals the results of a drug test she took earlier in the year (negative for cocaine).

And where is Cheryl Cole in all this? One the front page of Hello – ‘it’s the toughest fight of her life..and she’s determined she’s going to win it’. Apparently her and Ashley are renewing their vows according to star. Or perhaps ‘renewing ‘ means scrapping them so that he is allowed to cheat.

Oh, and in the weird way these body things work – Nikki from Big Brother is pictured in a backless dress on the front of Heat as part of a new anorexia scare. While she’s featured in the same dress on the front page of More saying ‘Nikki’s back’ with a great new look to find herself a new man.

One newsstand. So many stories.