50 quid bloke

This morning’s On-The-Go play list is Robbie William’s new album, and Apologies to The Queen Mary from Wolf Parade.

Both of them have had pretty good reviews in the paper And, they’re both pretty good albums, but very different. And I don’t just mean different in terms of genre, I mean because the minute you hear Robbie Williams album, you feel that you know every song, and you’ll be hearing chunks of it at a karaoke bar near you very soon (I should add, that’s a compliment).

Wolf Parade is that little bit more interesting, but obviously nowhere near as polished nor as immediately easy to listen to.

At the moment, we have two elements to a review: first you get the written review, next you get the number of stars. Some (like Word) don’t do stars - however, I imagine many ADD sufferers such as myself realise that by reading the last sentence of any review, you should pretty much be able to decide whether or not to buy it.

Yes, we like a quick at a glance guide - but five stars is too simple by half. The idea that there’s a linear progression for all music to an agreed point of five stars, is obviously daft.

So - I have a simple recommendation, which is to split the star system into two: with marks from -5 to +5 on the x axis for originality and excitement and marks -5 to +5 on the y axis for listenability. You are then left with a neat matrix, that all albums can be plotted against.

The top right quadrant is obviously where it’s at (I have to put Arctic Monkeys in there at the moment) . But at the same time, the top left (listenable, but not very original/exciting) can also been lauded for what it is (yes, Robbie, you have a home), while we can finally acknowledge down in the bottom right, that some music is highly original/exciting, but frankly unlistenable (from two very different corners of the spectrum: insert Dizzee Rascal and Animal Collective).

As for the unlistenable and unoriginal/exciting - well, I think that’s a pretty clear message.

A magazine can now introduce it’s reviews section with a handy chart showing where all this month/week’s releases fit on the chart. You can chose your purchasing based on how you feel…

Am sure the system can be refined…I might get round to introducing it on here, and start to plot everything…

I can’t quite believe that after being slightly obsessed with the Who for about 25 years, I’ve only just got round to watching The Kids Are Alright. (Amazon). God knows how many time’s I’ve watched Tommy and Quadrophenia - but somehow, this one escaped me.

A few things strike you - first, that Pete Townshend’s on-stage dancing is possibly the worst that you’ve ever seen (he jumps around like a posh dad at a wedding during a version of Baba O’Reilly…admittedly not an easy tune to dance to…) . Also you realise just how heavily styled they were until that point in their career (just how many tassled capes did Roger Daltry have?). But the biggest thing you notice is just how big a deal Keith Moon was: the way he looked, they way he played, and yes, the way he drove Rolls Royce’s into swimming pools.

I know that’s stating the obvious - but I suppose that given that he died when I was 12 (he was 31, which now seems impossibly young), I think I’d always tried to kid myself that they’d just ‘lost their drummer’, so that when I finally got to see them live (Birmingham NEC, 1984) it was as near as damn it to the real thing. I now realise it was nothing like it.

Yes, I’d seen clips and read all about him - but you only really notice it when you see this much footage all at once. You simply can’t take your eyes off him whenever he’s in the picture. And dead at 31?. There’s scenes he’s there with his beard, playing around with Ringo Starr - and you look at them and think: christ they’re nearly 10 years younger than I am now.

Anyway - there was one clip of him, picture above, (playing Pictures of Lilly) that I saw and thought - oh my god: that’s where Austin Powers got the look from. I then did a quick google check to find out exactly when he died - only to find out co-incidentally (I think I knew this already) that Mike Myers is going to be playing Moon in a ‘forthcoming bio-pic’. Which we now await with some eagerness.

Is it embarrassing to admit that I’d never heard of Aberfeldy and The Boy Least Likely To, which have to go down as my favourites? I think everyone should own (in no particular order)

- Aberfeldy: Young Forever (Amazon | iTunes | Karmadownlaod)

-Boy Least Likely To: The Best Party Ever (Amazon | iTunes | Karmadownload)

With thanks to Chris and Steve (and everyone else - keep them coming, all tips gratefully received)

Have you dabbled with the Animal Collective? I’ve now listened to Sung Tongs (Amazon | ITunes) (their last one for research, and because buying stuff on iTunes is so easy) and Feels (Amazon | iTunes) (their latest).

They’re both albums that you know people give good reviews to, because they’re not obvious and they’re sort of interesting, but after listening to it you go: was a single bit of that loveable or memorable? And the answer, I’m afraid is a resounding ‘err not really’. I wanted to like it - I really did, but just a little too much work for my ageing ears. If you see them, could you tell them to stop trying so hard?.

On the other hand - for a bit of gentle loveliness, can I recommend Calexico and Iron&Wine’s In The Reins EP (iTunes| Amazon), as with most I&W output it sails dangerously close to soporific, but just about hangs in there. OK, maybe it does make you doze off just a little bit in places, but it’s very nice. Like a hot bath at the end of a long day.

They’ve put 4,000 Naxos albums up at eMusic…fill your boots. Until the BBC decides to give them all away…

Well, I’d read the interview, smelt the hype and heard just how huge they were going to be. But to be honest, I thought it was going to be just a gang of noisy Northerners…another Futureheads: nice idea, but not very practical.

Still - ever fearful of missing out on a fad, I downloaded the new EP(iTunes/ Karmadownload) and it’s the most fun I’ve had in months. The hype is almost entirely justified.

Yes, it really is the lyrical goodness of The Streets with the jagged guitar of - well, just about everyone these days. Above all, it’s ultra-listenable. Good news for normal people, not just music hacks in search of something new. (I’ll discuss the Animal Collective later)

‘I Bet you look good on a dancefloor’ has slipped alongside The Killers Somebody Told me as my favourite song about dancefloors this year. Obviously it makes me feel as old as Methuselah when they go: ‘I bet you look good on a dancefloor, dancing to electropop, like a robot from 1984, 1984!’ (or something like that) and then you realise that to them 1984 is pre-history , while to you, it seems like only yesterday you were slipping on your double breasted shirt, getting your mum to put on your mascara and heading out to show off your latest moves at Cagneys…errr..I’ll stop there.

The ‘b side’ (I dont’ know if that term’s still relevant on a digital release, but there you go) of Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts is one of the funniest songs I’ve heard in years - a painful tale of being at school and losing your girlfriend to a guy with a car. “They’ve got engaged/No intention of a wedding/He’s pinched your bird/And he’d probably kick your head in ” (full lyrics). Takes you back to a time when frankly that’s all there was to worry about.

Enjoy…I’m sure you will.

Tanglewood Numbers by the Silver Jews. Which is funny, because I normally pass over the Americana section in Uncut…but this time after quite nice write ups there and in Word…I thought I’d try it.

About a billion times better than expected. Definitely much more alt. than country: ‘I’ve been living in K-hole/ ever since you’ve been away/ I’d rather be in a trash can/ than see you with another man’. The first mention of a k-hole I can remember in popular culture since Jazzer on The Archers. And yes, The Archers is popular culture.

As we’re playing catch-up, I want to build up a good list here for everyone to read. ‘Recent’ can be anything within the last six months. Anyone who mentions the words ‘James’ and ‘Blunt’ is banned for life. Feel free to link to your own amazon affiliate etc

I start with: Smog: A river ain’t too much to Love Bill Callahan doesn’t so much sing as rumble..and he’s very funny…sort of Tom Waites from his ‘Heart of Saturday Night’ era, with Elvis Costello’s lyrics…but with all the melody taken out. Better descriptions very much welcome.

Won’t go into the reasons for my silence…but in the meantime I’ve been listening to all sorts of stuff. This is a vague catch up. Please excuse the slight rambling style.

First - I’ve stopped buying CDs. Just given up. Can’t be bothered with the things. Have gone completely over to iTunes (with a bit of archiving help, from ahem, Jhymn, ahem). Saves me all that effort ripping stuff, and waiting for Amazon deliveries etc etc. I might waver for the odd exception…but other than that, it’s me

Oh, and I bought a Nano. I am now completely Steve Jobs’s bitch - but that is the topic for a later date. While I was in Korea, I bought an iRiver H10 - and it’s quite remarkable how unfavourably it compared to an iPod, despite having better features. I lost it in a tragic incident on the beach at Poole and had to get a lovely little Nano while in Terminal 3 (Duty Free etc) recently.

Unfortunately, this has encouraged something of a dadrock relapse. I really did findmyself listening to Neil Young’s After The Goldrush repeatedly over the weekend, and The Band’s Music from the Big Pink. I blame Uncut’s 100th edition, which had all these people going on about stuff like that…how could I resist. I still think St Etienne’s Love Will Break Your Heart is better…but there you go.

Talking of Uncut - I normally find their ‘music inspired by an old rocker’ or ‘recommended by xxxx’ utterly missable. However, their new Songs Inspired by Springsteen is really rather good. Much better in fact than listening to an hour of Springsteen.

That said - Steve Wynn’s version of State Trooper isn’t a patch on Halloween Alaska’s version. They, incidentally have a new album coming out…aren’t you excited? They featured on Word’s latest CD [sidebar: 50quid tip for musical happiness - collect and rip all of Word’s CDs, then put them all together in one playlist….brilliant listening].

On Music stuff - I was surpised to find myself enjoying Supergrass’s Road To Rouen (yes, I have been away for a while, haven’t I?), and really quite bored by Laura Veirs. I’m sure she’s lovely and all..but enough about the mermaids, already…

I know it’s late to be getting into them, but I like totally digged Death Cab For Cutie’s Plans - and I’m glad they’ve re-released The Photo Album - because I’m now backfilling so that I can pretend I’ve always been into them. Expect to see their name painted on my rucksack soon [yes, I had Transatlanticism - but didn’t everyone?].

Richard Hawley really delivered with Coles Corner didnt’ he? I think Steve over at Reallyrather can feel very vindicated there - it’s a much more polished album than Lowedges…and while we’re on Mellow stuff, yes, yes and yes again to King Creosote’s Kc Rules Ok.

My mate Steve steered me onto Jamie Liddell’s Multiply - who I found to be a slightly more abrasive version of Jamiroquai, I really wanted to like it, I found it quite impressive, but even after repeated listening it’s just not a very loveable album. He also told me to get into Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings’ Naturally, which I initially thought was a bit too straight-up-and-down staxx…but on relistening is really pretty good, if a little lacking in surprises. Steve, incidentally is still banging on about The Go Team’s Thunder, Lightning, Strike - but I’m getting a bit tired of sample-a-holics. Get out the studio, into a field and play a guitar, I say.

I’m currently ploughing through a load of other stuff…to be discussed later. but I have to say I quite like Damian Marley’s Welcome to Jamrock . I don’t quite know how to put this..but I think he’s managed to make the whole ragga thing quite, errr…white-friendly.