So - this week’s newsstand features Jordan heavily. In fact, in what might prove to be a new game - there’s a complete line of Jordan covers on the second row. She’s out and about, getting drunk, losing weight, having bust ups with Pete, having a meltdown etc etc.

Meanwhile, my favourite car crash, Kerry Katona is also back on the front page of OK (her rightful home) having a break down and saying: “I’m the most hated person in Britain” (honestly, the vanity of some people!!!), while Heat reveals the results of a drug test she took earlier in the year (negative for cocaine).

And where is Cheryl Cole in all this? One the front page of Hello - ‘it’s the toughest fight of her life..and she’s determined she’s going to win it’. Apparently her and Ashley are renewing their vows according to star. Or perhaps ‘renewing ‘ means scrapping them so that he is allowed to cheat.

Oh, and in the weird way these body things work - Nikki from Big Brother is pictured in a backless dress on the front of Heat as part of a new anorexia scare. While she’s featured in the same dress on the front page of More saying ‘Nikki’s back’ with a great new look to find herself a new man.

One newsstand. So many stories.

Should an alien land in front of the newsstand this week they would have no doubt about who the most important person in the UK is…it has to be Cheryl Cole.

She’s having dates with an A-List man according to Look, She can’t bear it when Ashley touches her accoprding to heat, She’s been so strong according to OK. She’s moving to LA according to Now.

And Jordan tells us, via New!, she’s not too thin she’s never looked better.

Oh, Ulrika tells Hello her third marriage is really going to last. And Kate Moss speaks to Grazia (if that’s the coverline, you can sort of guess she hasn’t actually said anything interesting).

It truly is a wonderful world we live in.

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Sue Unerman in her Media Week column this week talks about the success of the BBC iPlayer and how it is paving the way for us to all watch TV on our laptops, and concludes

The BBC is teaching us to watch TV on our laptops. It is also arguably hastening the decline of viewing as a family. While this represents a minority of viewing in our house, and is largely programme-led (Dr Who, The Simpsons, Soccer AM), we still gather on significant occasions to watch and discuss TV shows.

Chez Waldman, the iPlayer has no role. Once the children are finally asleep, it is bad enough that we both sit with laptops while watching TV, but the idea of sitting with laptops on our laps without the TV on, and with us both watching separate things…hell, that’s practially social meltdown!

We want to believe that media is becoming more social. And in many ways it is. But with individuals able to get what they want, when they want it, there is an equal and opposite process making media into something  inherently less social.

As I sit there on the train watching The Shield on my iPod Touch, I have not only completely removed myself from my surroundings, but also carved out a bit of media consumption that is mine and mine alone.

But here’s the flip side - A few weeks ago, I saw a family of four sit down in the Starbucks in Cobham on a Sunday afternoon. They all pulled out their Nintendo DSs and  sat in silence playing  a game against  each other. Is that  the new form of family bonding?

Every day I pass this newsstand at Waterloo , which carries all the celebrity mags.

I have to admit it has a strange pull over me. I have to stop when I walk past it. Who is Lily Allen’s other man? [poor Ed, I say]. And is it really divorce for Ashley and Cheryl? [or isn’t it?] And where the hell is Kerry Katona this week? [Phew - here she is]

I never actually buy anything off it - that’s partly because we get Grazia and Heat delivered to the house; but also because rather like scanning headlines in a newsreader, these screaming coverlines are a complete read all in their own.

I feel I should take a photo of it every week and then publish all the photos in a book to provide a chronicle of celebrity Britain - the weekly travails of who’s getting together and breaking up; who weighs too much and who weighs too little; who has a stunning new look and who is in meltdown; whose boobs have been made bigger, and whose have been reduced; who’s pregnant, nearly pregnant, thinking about getting pregnant and who has shed their baby weight within a week.

And no, I don’t know how Monocle ended up on their, either; and Nuts (or is that Zoo?) in the bottom left looks a bit out of place there as well.